Playing it Safe

I’ve just sat down after getting Ryder off to school. My heart is racing a little faster than usual. This morning I opened the door for him to walk out to his bus, but instead of walking to the open doors and up the steps as he usually does, he ran towards the back of the bus and stepped out into the road. It happened so quickly. His bus attendant caught him within seconds, and I was not far behind her. There were no cars coming and he was okay, but it was a reminder of how quickly things can happen, and how unpredictable he can be. Over the years, we’ve worked on teaching him to stay on the sidewalk, but every now and then something catches his eye and he makes a run for it. This morning it was the lights on the bus.

Safety is a huge challenge for many parents of kids with Autism and other developmental delays. They just do not have an understanding of danger. I spend a lot of time worrying and thinking about how to keep Ryder safe. When we are out in a busy place, Ryder often rides in a stroller so that I can keep him from running away from me. We have safety locks on the gates of our backyard, so that he can’t get out when we are playing outside. We keep our doors locked, even when we are inside our home. He wears a medic alert bracelet with our contact information on it in case he is ever lost. The scariest part of the thought of him getting lost is the fact that he is non-verbal. He can’t ask for help. He does not often cry out to alert someone if he is scared or injured. He requires almost constant supervision.

A couple of weeks ago we were at a local park, with a long, safe pathway, and I decided to give him a little freedom to see where he would go and whether he would stay near where I was playing with his sister. He hit that path and didn’t look back. We caught up with him, he smiled, and we went on our way. It’s hard having a child who doesn’t grasp the concept of safety. It’s even harder when you’re trying to juggle a determined toddler with a mind of her own at the same time. I’m often trying to stretch myself in two different directions at the same time. I manage, but we’ve had some close calls.

When we are at home or in a safe place, we are able to give him a little more freedom, but we still have to check on him often to make sure he is okay. Our home is permanently child proofed, but there are still things that could be dangerous or mistakenly left out. Right now Ryder is into climbing, so we have to make sure he doesn’t get stuck on or fall off of something. Often he’ll climb on to something and not know what to do next, so he’ll hang on for dear life until someone comes to help him. Sometimes I’ll hear his voice, and I can tell by the sound he is making that he needs help. Going out to a public place is challenging, because unless it is fenced in, I have to watch him at all times in case he starts to run away. It’s even hard to meet friends at the park because once Ryder decides he’s done playing, he tries to wander off. I prefer to take trips to the zoo, or anything similar, on our own because I find it impossible to keep track of Ryder and be part of a group. We still join our friends for outings sometimes, but they tend to be more stressful for me than social. We tend to practice these types of trips when we are one on one with Ryder, have more than one person to help, or have the stroller with us so we can ensure his safety. He loves these outings, and so do I, we just have to work a little harder to make them happen.

I hope that one day Ryder will understand the importance of staying close to me, or someone else he knows and trusts. I hope that he’ll continue to learn about danger and how to avoid getting hurt. We’ll keep practicing. Repetition is key. Until then, we’ll keep this precious kid in our sights, and out of harm’s way.