Monday 9:42am
The snow is softly falling, I’m sipping on coffee, music is playing in my ears, and I’m sitting here thinking life is pretty good. Even though Ryder threw up everywhere this morning, and so Hayley was late for school, and I forgot to send her blue folder, and I forgot to wash her grubby winter coat last night. Even though Ryder is sick, actually sick, not just battling his ongoing GI issues. Today I’m just thankful that I can throw on pants, a coat, and a toque for school drop off, and no one else needs to know that I’m still half in pyjamas, and there’s probably still vomit between my toes, and maybe some in my hair. I’m thankful that I can come home, clean up, feed Ryder again and make sure he gets all of his meds, tuck him in and let him rest.

Tuesday 10:33am
Holy shit fuck mother of all shit storms. I actually walked into Ryder’s school and asked my friend, “Do I look like a crazy person? Because I feel like a crazy person.” I feel like I’m running around like a chicken with its head cut off. I can’t see anything. At one point, I even looked like a chicken with its head cut off. My nose started bleeding while I was driving, and all of a sudden I sputtered and gagged and spewed out blood, at which point I was 99% certain Satan had entered my body and was indeed trying to take me down. I literally arrived home from school drop off looking like I had been in a fight. The bleeding is now under control and I am caffeinating. Things are looking up!

Yesterday, I was wearing my cape. I was boss. I was a vomit cleaning-taxi driving-caring for my sick kid-getting shit done-nothing’s going to bring me down, freaking Super Mom! Today… not so much. But that’s okay.  You can’t bring your A game every single day. It’s impossible. All you can do is suit up and show up sometimes. If you’re worried about whether or not you’re doing a good job of parenting, you are probably doing a good job of parenting. Lousy parents don’t wonder how they are doing. Some days are seamless. Enjoy them, and hold on to that feeling of being able to take on the world. Don’t be too hard on yourself when you stumble, or fall flat on your face, which is how I like to do it. And if you’re having a really hard day, remember, it won’t always be this hard.