Vacation

We decided to take the plunge this year and take the kids to Ontario for summer holidays. It was the first time we travelled by air with both kids since Hayley was a baby. If you’ve done it before, you know that flying with a toddler is an act of true bravery. Throw in a sensory- sensitive special needs kiddo who will have to sit beside your noisy toddler, and you’re walking the fine line between bravery and insanity. Anyone who has travelled with kids knows that it takes a ton of preparation. Packing suitcases is only the tip of the iceberg; the true test is the carry on luggage. This must include 30 different activities to keep the kids entertained, all required medications, toileting supplies, spare sets of clothing for everyone, including yourself as there is a 90% chance you will get some type of bodily fluid or heaven knows what else spilled on you, electronic devices and chargers, everyone’s favourite blanket and stuffed animal, enough snacks to bribe the children, and hopefully, if you still have room, your wallet and travel documents, which you will lose track of repeatedly, as you try to get things out and stuff them back into your bags. All of this must fit into a couple of bags which meet carry on size requirements. You don’t try to cheat. There’s no way you’re going to be denied boarding when you’ve already made it that far.

We don’t like to get to the airport too early, or too late, so we have to time things perfectly to ensure we don’t lose anyone while waiting for our flight, or have any major meltdowns. We take the kids out of the stroller at the last possible moment at security screening, run through the scanner, collect the kids and put them back into the stroller while we wait for Ryder’s drinks and medications to undergo testing for bombs: standard procedure. We rarely pre-board. The only thing worse than holding up a full plane while you board the aircraft with all your child equipment, is boarding early and having your child in a total frenzy before the plane has even started to move. Ryder understands the concept of flying somewhere, and he loves it, but once we are on that aircraft he wants to go.

So there we were, armed with coffee, and already wondering how long it would be until the coffee cart came through for a refill. Four hours later, and after saying “you cannot kick the seat in front of you” and “you have to wear your seatbelt, it’s the law” 147 times, we had survived the flight, and set out on the two hour drive to my parents’ house, ready for our two  week stay, and hoping someone had invented a warp speed method of travel for our journey home. Our vacation had begun. That’s what they call it anyway, vacation. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed our visit tremendously, but vacation takes on a whole new form when traveling with young children. This is why you come home and feel like you need a vacation from your vacation.

Being away from home isn’t easy for Ryder, or for us. Home is our sanctuary, our safe place. Home is comfortable and familiar. Home is where everything we could possibly need to help Ryder is. It’s impossible to jam that into a suitcase. Luckily, Ryder loves his grandparents house and going to visit them, but it’s still a challenge. It’s hard because we want to spend time catching up with our friends and family, but Ryder often finds the social visits stressful and has a hard time settling in somewhere unfamiliar. I get stressed out because he is stressed out. Every outing takes effort and careful planning. We have to set limits on our plans and activities, and leave time for everyone to decompress. We never get to do all the things we want to do, or see all the people we want to see, but we do our best.

So, why bother doing all of this if it’s so hard? Because it’s also wonderful. It’s wonderful to see the kids’ faces light up when they see the people they love. It’s wonderful for them to spend time with our family and friends, who adore them. It’s wonderful for them to experience new things. It’s wonderful for me to feel the love and support of people who accept us just the way we are; blowing in and out like a hurricane, as my sister and brother-in-law say with a laugh and a smile. For every hard moment, there is a happy moment that outweighs anything else. And that makes it all worthwhile.